I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
