We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
