meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
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I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
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You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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