how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
