i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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