do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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