11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
