I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize