I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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