I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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