apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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