dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
