i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
