I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
