i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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