i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
