So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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