He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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