I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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