Tell her she can't have a vagina
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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