I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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