I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize