Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
