See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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