ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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