Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
