i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
