ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
