do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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