I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
