It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
