when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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