how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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