fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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