I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
