my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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