Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
