I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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