then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
