so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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