Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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