sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
