He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
