my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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