I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
