So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
