I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
