I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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