i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
