i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
