just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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