I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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