I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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