we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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