Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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