So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
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I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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